My Comments
1. Don't use words like "good", "bad" or "things". Use your vocabulary! You have learned a lot! The choice of words you use can show off your English skills. A third grade student can use good or bad. What can you use? Try other synonyms! Be specific when you use the word "things". What are you talking about?
2. Do not use conjunctions to begin your sentences. Use them to connect your sentences together.
3. Spelling is not extremely important. However, when the spelling changes the meaning of what you want to say, do you think it is important?
My favorite example -------

You are the
angel in my life who saves me in times of need.
This is an ANGEL!!!!!!
You are the
angle in my life who saves me in times of need.

This is NOT an ANGEL!
Does the make sense? This can change your essay. Do you want an essay talking about an angel or an angle?
4. Do not spell the words in the topic incorrect. This shows the teacher you are not really paying attention carefully to what you are writing!
5. You don't need to use "I think" because I know it is you who are thinking in the essay.
Tell you more later! I am going to continue marking now!
Take care,
Ms. Chan